The Science of Martinis and Climate Change

You might be wondering what connection to science a martini could have.  Surprisingly, quite a lot.  Every aspect of our lives is governed by and reliant upon science, even religion.  "Give us this day our daily bread". This simple phrase involves astronomy, biology, chemistry and physics.  If you take the time to think about it, you will begin to see the science behind everything.

Several years ago, I went through a martini phase. When I began making martinis for my friends, I set out to create the perfect martini.  I'm not talking about the concoctions that are poured in a martini glass and called something pretentious:  chocolatini, melontini, cocktail weinietini, whatever.  I'm talking about the basic gin (although I prefer vodka, gin makes me angry) and vermouth with an olive, and shaken, not stirred.  The secret involves "old ice".

Old ice is ice that has been frozen for at least 24 hours. This is important because water turns to ice at 32° F (0° C).  Until the water is completely frozen, the ice remains at 32 or 0°, depending on your temperature scale.  However, your freezer is probably closer to 0° F (about -18° C). Now for the tricky math stuff, this will all be in metric units because I'm too lazy to do conversions today.  To lower the temperature of 1 gram of water 1° C requires 1 calorie of heat be removed. To change 1 gram of water at 0° C to ice requires 80 calories be removed. To lower the temperature of ice requires 2 calories per gram.

If you don't use old ice (and follow the other instructions at the end of this entry) when you begin to mix your martini, the ice will start to melt and instead of vodka (or gin) and vermouth you have vodka (or gin), vermouth and water.

But what does this all have to do with climate change?  Perhaps you recall last years news about extreme melting of the polar ice caps, or more recent news about the melting of Antarctic ice. You probably also noticed a rather prolonged, cold and snowy winter, and you might be thinking this solved the problem.  But it didn't, and the reason is "old ice".

The ice caps act as shock absorbers for our weather. If the ice cap is too small, then we can expect to see large changes in temperature.  In a normal, balanced system, the ice caps shrink and grow and change in size gradually.  When the temperature rises they help slow down the rise, because it takes twice as much heat to raise the temperature of ice, and 80 times as much to melt ice as it does to raise the temperature of water. When temperatures drop, it slows down the drop, for the same reason.

Without the old ice, the size of the polar cap can fluctuate much more, removing or adding much more heat. This leads to extreme weather. Besides the flooding we have been warned about (and the warnings are now 40 years old), we can expect more and stronger storms, tornadoes and hurricanes, we can expect drought, excessive snowfall, extreme high and low temperatures and unseasonal weather, and we can expect the trend to accelerate.

There is some good news.  It is clear no one is going to make a real effort to deal with the changing climate, but don't despair.  The problem will correct itself. Quite a few of us won't survive the correction, but eventually it will work itself out. Once the population stabilizes at a much lower level, the weather will begin to moderate.

Now, you probably need a martini.  Here is my not very secret recipe.  First, store your vodka (or gin) in the freezer, it won't freeze.  If it does freeze, then someone is drinking your vodka and replacing it with water. Store your vermouth in the refrigerator. It's also a good idea to keep your drink shaker in the freezer (and martini glasses if you have the room.  Fill your shaker with old ice, then add vodka and vermouth (I prefer 3 parts vodka to 1 part vermouth, vary the mix to suit your taste), shake and pour into your chilled martini glass.  Garnish with a stuffed olive and/or a cocktail onion.  Enjoy.