I'm Finally Coming Out of the Closet!

I realize, for many of you this comes as no surprise.  You've known it for years, but I've been in denial.  This is not the way I was brought up, this is not what I was taught was normal and natural, but I can no longer hide from the truth.  In order to find true happiness and fulfillment I have to embrace my true nature.  I have to be me.

There have always been signs.  I prefer herbal teas to coffee, secretly love red wine and I have a weakness for satin shirts, especially in vibrant colors.  Fortunately, I've outgrown my spandex phase, but I must admit I looked damn good!  At gatherings, I tended to end up in the kitchen gossiping with the women, rather than scratching and belching with the men.  Plus, I have simply gorgeous hair and my eyelashes are to die for.

At first, I ignored the yearnings, but over time they've grown stronger.  In recent years I find myself crossing that line more and more.  Rather than claim I belong to one group or another, I've tried to play myself as in the middle.  Taking the best from both sides, I continued to ignore my true destiny.  But no longer!  Today I stand before you (sitting in front of my computer) and proudly shout out (type) I am a Liberal!

Suddenly, I feel so free.  It's as if a giant weight has been lifted from my shoulders.  I feel like squealing like a school girl at a Justin Bieber concert.  Okay, I just grossed myself out a little.  Time to reel in the enthusiasm just a notch.  My epiphany came about amidst a series of (I'm being generous by calling them this) debates with several conservative friends.  I started thinking about all the different things I've heard over the years from the conservative side.  I began to achieve a certain clarity and realized the time had come to join fully with my brothers and sisters who choose reason over rhetoric.

In recent years I've heard, from several conservative sources, our colleges and universities are liberal indoctrination centers.  Having spent at least some time attending college, I discounted the idea as ridiculous.  However, I've come to realize it is correct.  Change comes about through knowledge, and through challenging the status quo.  Change is itself a liberal concept.  Higher education (when approached correctly) challenges the students to think not of what was, but what can be.  Students are taught to think independently and independent thought is conservatism's kryptonite.  At the dawn of time, there was probably someone arguing that fire would destroy civilization, that we didn't need a wheel, when dragging stuff was good enough for our ancestors.

Ironically, liberal advancements are indispensable tools used by conservative pundits to argue about the dangers of liberalism.  The question I've always had is: Why are conservatives opposed to education, education they have benefited from, education their children are benefiting from.  The answer involves a bit of math, but only a little.  I'll try to keep it short and simple.

I drive a truck for a living.  Many people have asked me why.  The answer is somewhat complex, but the easy explanation is that I enjoy it.  The average truck driver with 25 years experience has seen roughly a 25% increase in pay over the past 25 years.  This increase is not a reward for experience and faithful service, it's merely a reflection of an increase in the standard pay for truck drivers.  When compared to inflation, this means the average driver is making less with 25 years of experience than they made their first day on the job.

Over the past 25 years, typical starting pay for college graduates in private industry has increased by 100%.  In addition, a skilled worker, who has worked in their industry for 25 years has had their pay increased by 200% or more.  Highly valued employees have seen increases of 500% or more.  According to many truck drivers, without trucks, America stops.  There is a great deal of truth in this statement.  On the other hand, getting rid of many mid-level managers, would actually increase industry productivity.  Yet, those mid-level managers are valued more than the backbone of our economy.

The conservative leaders and pundits insist that increasing the tax rate for the wealthy would be bad for the country and the economy.  At the same time they're telling us to not educate our children, but instead to be happy with our menial jobs.  In effect, they are telling us that if we stay in our jobs where we make less money each year, and agree to pay more taxes, then they will take the high paying jobs and make more each year, and they'll also agree to pay less taxes.  And by this formula, the country will be better off and we'll all be better off..  I almost forgot!  We also need to reduce the money we spend on programs to help the poor, and remove any regulations which are keeping the wealthy from fixing all our problems.  I thought it would be simple, but this is obviously delving into a branch of mathematics well beyond anything I've ever studied.

All this leads us to the ultimate threat to conservatism.  If you take the lower and middle class, educate them and allow them to rise through the corporate ranks, the lines dividing the upper, middle and lower class start to become indistinct.  The wealth is no longer concentrated at one end of the spectrum, but spread throughout.  This results in a loss of power to the upper class, and creates more competition for their children.  Rather than sharing the wealth, they prefer to broaden the gap.

So, dig ditches if you must.  Scrub floors, clean toilets and drive trucks.  But do whatever you can to ensure your children pursue a higher education.  And teach them, just as you are giving them a hand up, their duty is to give a hand to others.  Together we can show the world, thought is good, knowledge is good and change is what brings us to a better tomorrow.

Now excuse me while I sing..  Y... M... C... A...