Blessed Are the Children, Blessed With Children

Today has been a good kid day, even though I only spent about 45 minutes out and about.  Now to see if I can explain "good kid day" satisfactorily.  For some reason, children seem to be attracted to me, whether in a restaurant or a grocery store, small children stare, smile and even laugh at me.  Either they think I'm a nice guy, or I look really funny to them.  As long as the kids are happy, it doesn't matter.  A good kid day is when happy, healthy and loved kids smile, laugh, stare at or talk to me.  A bad kid day is when the children just scream in the distance while the parents demonstrate their lack of parenting skills.

I had to go pick up my new glasses and go get something substantial for lunch.  Sixty hours without an actual meal was too long for me to be satisfied with a can of soup and a piece of toast.  At the eye doctor's office (Dr. Tavel at Greenwood Park Mall, really nice people) there was a mother in front of me with an infant sleeping in a stroller and a young girl probably about 6 years old.  The little girl happily told me she was there to get new glasses, that her current glasses were for at home and the frames were cranberry.  She needed a pair of glasses for school and a pair of outside glasses, and she wanted at least one of the frames to be green.  Depending on your interpretation, she was either cute and adorable, or really annoying.  I'll go with cute and adorable.  As a bonus, her mother was actually paying attention and moved her away before there was any risk of her becoming annoying.

After the eye doctor, I headed to Ryan's for lunch.  Ryan's is not exactly haute cuisine, but there are some things I like about eating there.  Sometimes, without asking, they give me the senior discount, saving me a few dollars.  I can also have a nice big salad, three or four different vegetables and maybe even some fresh fruit.  Plus, it's only three blocks from home, so I don't have to invest a lot of time in lunch.

I did something today that I rarely do, sit at a table next to a table with two small children and two young women.  At first I was confused because the two women were both young (15 and 18) and obviously sisters.  Who was the mother of the children?  The answer was not immediately obvious, neither were the ages.  However, I have a nasty habit of listening to whatever conversations are going on around me, and since they were the only talkers within range, I learned about them.  The younger of the two had just recently turned 15, and her son was 3 months old.  Her sister, I'm guessing was 18 and her daughter 10 to 12 months old.  Both children appeared happy, healthy and well cared for and both mothers seemed to be happy, intelligent and good single parents.

In theory, any girl capable of becoming pregnant, and giving birth is also capable of being a good mother and history is full of good mothers who were barely in their teens when they earned their title.  In practice, good mothers seem to be at least as rare as virgin brides, and I am not drawing any correlation between the two.  Quite often, a very young mother will gladly let the grandparents raise the baby, because being a mother tends to really restrict a teenagers social life.

For as long as I can remember, there has been worry over teenage pregnancy.  Every few years the subject will become the media's fair-haired child as if it is somehow a new problem.  After today's experience, I have to wonder if teenage pregnancy is a problem.  Unwanted pregnancy, unplanned pregnancy are both problems.  Pregnancy for people who are unsuited or incapable of being good parents is a problem, but there is no age where a woman automatically becomes a good parent.  Being 16 doesn't make you a good driver, being 18 doesn't make you an informed voter and being 21 doesn't make you a responsible drinker. 

Becoming good at anything requires knowledge, practice and desire (desire by itself is where the problems come from).  Very few schools give anything more than a short, clinical description on human reproduction and even fewer have anything on the curriculum about parenting.  Any mention of birth control causes an uproar worse than if the school required all girls to wear chastity belts (a law I expect Indiana to propose any day now).  In short, there is no readily available path to becoming a good parent, other than observation and trial and error.  If you want to become good at any sport or any occupation there are camps and programs and schools galore to help you achieve your goal.  Where is the summer camp for potential parents?  Instead, we give them one day each year to get cards and flowers and hope they become good parents without ruining or ending too many lives.

Perhaps it is time to rethink our entire education system.  Along with teaching the children how to conjugate, maybe we need to teach about reproduction and parenting.  At least make it an available option.  Imagine a world where every parent is a good parent.  For one thing, it would make eating out a much more enjoyable experience.