Finally, A Gun You Can Make Yourself

By now everyone has heard the news, a plastic gun, created on a 3D printer, has been successfully built and test fired.  The inventor, Cody Wilson, through his non-profit organization, Defense Distributed, envisions a gun that can be built by anyone, anywhere (anyone, anywhere that has a computer, an internet connection and access to a 3D printer).  Congratulations and good work!  I was worried about being able to find some way to buy a gun.  Now all I need is a few thousand dollars for a 3D printer, which is much better than spending less than $300 to buy one of the several thousand guns for sale within a 50 mile radius.

The idea behind a printed gun is to make sure that, through gun regulation, the government can not disarm the American public.  Very clever indeed, except for one minor problem, there is no lobbying group spending millions of dollars to prevent any legislation governing the use of 3D printers.  The fact, the gun is likely to explode in your hand isn't so much a problem as a design feature.  I suggest you wear eye protection.

This may come as a surprise to some people, but you do not need a 3D printer to make your own gun.  With about $100 worth of hand tools, dedication and some work, you can make your own gun out of steel.  If the hard work doesn't appeal to you, for about 1/3 the cost of a 3D printer, a small milling machine can be used to make all the parts, and steel, tends to stand up better than plastic.  Plans for all types of guns are available online, or simply buy a gun, disassemble it and make your own blueprint.  The only thing Defense Distributed has done is make homemade guns available to the people who are too lazy to do the work themselves. 

The downside of having a homemade plastic gun, which may explode when fired, is that such a gun is very difficult to detect.  Earlier, because I neglected to bring either my phone or a book to the bathroom, I designed ammunition for a plastic gun that eliminates about 85% of the metal in a normal cartridge.  Muzzle velocity will drop considerably, but the weapon should still be effective and would easily make it past airport security checkpoints.  That's right, despite hundreds of billions spent to ensure another attack, such as 9/11, never happens again, we are now only a few months and a low fiber diet away from an almost certain attempt.

I admire the spirit of invention and am proud of all the inventors and innovators who are doing their best to make the world a better place.  Through their hard work and dedication, millions of people now have access to safe water and food and millions are protected from deadly disease.  Our pioneers help bring housing, education and medical facilities to people around the world.  We cure disease,  help overcome famine and reduce suffering and misery.  Now we can add "cause death and destruction" to our resume.  Actually, that has long been our main export, it just isn't polite to brag.

In recent years, the trend has been to classify every problem as a disease.  Once something becomes a disease, it is treatable, billable and profitable.  Perhaps it is time to classify Second Amendment Paranoia as a disease.  I'm sure the drug companies can come up with candy coated Wellbutrin as a treatment and through counseling and drugs we can help these SAPs return to normal, productive lives.